Lynnae Lee & Associates
Serving all of Oahu and the neighbor Islands
808-379-3556

Does your ex fight you on every child care decision?

Some parents get along great after being married, and making joint decisions is easy. For other parents, it's not so easy and one or both spouses seem to fight each other on every single decision.

When fighting between ex-spouses gets so bad that they can't come to agreement on even the simplest of decisions regarding their children, court intervention could be required.

What happens when ex-spouses fight over their childcare decisions?

Imagine that every time you call your ex-husband to make a decision about your child, he takes the opposing viewpoint. Let's say you want to send your child to a private school that is perfectly affordable, but your husband says "no" -- because he doesn't want your son to be exposed to religion. Then, you find a great public school and your husband says "no" -- because he thinks it's too far away.

While co-parents usually have the right to disagree and offer their opposing views on child custody matters, at some point the two of you need to agree on what to do. Even if it becomes clear that the other parent is being difficult and contentious about every single decision, you'll still need to include your ex-spouse in these decisions or face the risk of violating your child custody orders. In fact, if you start making decisions without first consulting your ex, he could eventually challenge your decisions in court, say that you've violated your custody orders, and attempt to strip you of your custody rights.

Take your ex to court as a last resort

Parents who are trying to deal with an ex who wants to fight every issue tooth and nail may want to try mediation as a means to sort out their differences. Mediation can provide a peaceful framework and safe environment within which exes can work out their differences. As a last resort, if you and your ex cannot come to an agreement about a very important issue, you may need to go before a Honolulu family court judge to bring resolution to the issue.

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